A Letter to Mother
by Dancing Dusk
Summary: [Shattered Mirror] Oneshot. Dominique Vida finds a letter Sarah left for her before she went to fight Nikolas.


This is a one shot I had in my head after I read_ Shattered Mirror_, from the same author as _In the Forests of the Night_ (Amelia Atwater-Rhodes). I, in no way, own any of the characters. This is set after Sarah is turned into a vampire, but the letter is from before she left to fight Nikolas.

* * *

I glanced around the now deserted room. It was, as I would imagine, exactly as Sarah left it. I really couldn't tell. Adianna had not really talked to me properly in months, not since the incident. I tried as hard as I could to prepare Sarah for her duty, and yet she couldn't handle it in the end. I guess she was never really cut out for it... I had trained Adianna, and she was no stranger to success. Why then, was my youngest immune to it? She had made kills before, true, but never without consequence, mishap, injury, or violating the rules of the Vida. 

When I awoke to an empty home, both of my daughters gone, I didn't know what to think. Sarah may not be the best hunter, but she was no coward, and Adianna wouldn't encourage her to do so... At least I didn't think so. It was not until an hour later that someone arrived home. The sound of a key being turned in the lock, and then the opening of the door had me there in moments. I don't know what I was expecting. I guess it was a sheepish and guilty looking Sarah staring down at the ground and Adianna standing aloof close behind her like a jailer returning an escapee... Instead I was met with an ashen-faced Adianna, covered in blood.

Adianna told we had made a mistake... I still recall the conversation.

_"Sarah wasn't trying to protect Nikolas... she had been fighting him the whole time."_

_"She has still broken the rules of the Vida, and she must be punished accordingly. Where is she?"_

_Adianna was silent for a few moments. "I went into her room last night, and she was gone... I had hoped she would've just hid from you, far away from here; but she left a note saying she had left to kill Nikolas."_

_Adianna had encouraged Sarah to run. I was as speechless on that then as I am now. "Even if she wasn't protecting him, she gave up her knives, befriended vampires, and broke countless other rules. Now, where is she? If you hide her from her trial, it will only make her punishment worse and put you at fault."_

_ Adianna watched me with a cool glance, one much more composed than when she had returned. "I went to make sure she was alright when I found out where she had gone... When I got there, her knives were scattered across the floor, one covered in blood, the others fairly clean, and __she was lying__ in the middle of the floor covered in blood, unmoving."_

_ I was silent. Was my youngest daughter dead?_

_"I knelt beside her and found her to still be alive."_

_I felt some sort of relief in my chest. I knew the dangers of our jobs, but I still never wanted my daughters to be killed by leeches._

_"When I felt her face, she was burning. A fever so high, I could tell it hurt and she was in pain, and from the blood smeared across her lips, the twin trails of blood running along her neck; I could tell one of them had fed her their blood."_

_I once again felt a sickening twinge curling in my stomach. _

_ "I didn't even hesitate to try and heal her myself... but it was too late. The vampire blood was too strongly mixed in hers, I couldn't remove it... I was going to sever her powers so she would live, but I know Sarah would rather die than lose her Vida powers."_

_Adianna fell silent, and I once more made sure to cast aside any bubbling emotion. A Vida never loses control._

_"That makes it the second intentional killed Vida by Nikolas." I easily kept the rage from infiltrating my voice. It was no harder than breathing for me._

_"I don't know if they meant for it to intentionally kill her, or if they wanted to blood-blond her." Adianna then turned and walked on up the steps without another word. Later I could her the shower, and then the quit click of the latch as she closed her door. I still didn't cry... I barely even felt.  
_

That was enough reminiscing for me. More than I should have ever done. I stepped surely towards the door, prepared to leave Sarah's room just as it was when I noticed a white envelope addressed to me. Curiously, I picked it up, weighing it in my hand. It was light and thin, probably something very short and not dangerous, but from whom? Most likely Sarah, since this was her room. Had she written something to me and perhaps decided not to give it to me after all? Was it a last request? Should I even read it? I pondered over it for a minute, then slipped my finger under the unsealed flap. I pulled out a couple folded pieces of notebook paper, and opened them, smoothing the wrinkles before I began to read.

**Mother,**

**I know I have never been the perfect Vida daughter you  
wanted me to be. All I have ever done is disappoint you  
despite my intentions. I have tried, I really have. The  
fear I had from the first disappointment, the feeling of  
helplessness from my bound powers, has always been  
the best incentive. I have always been too soft, too  
compassionate, to expressive to ever have been the  
daughter you wanted. You know this, I know this, all  
the others know this, and Adianna tries to deny this.  
She looks out for me as often and as best she can,  
and I'm sorry I could never exactly met her expectations.  
I've never been a stranger to your disappointment, but  
Adianna's hurts. I'm guilty of all I was charged. I  
befriended vampires, I gave up my weapons, and I  
defied Vida law. I'm guilty. I'd probably do most of it  
again. I'd give up any number of weapons to save  
Adianna. She's your perfect, most loved Vida daughter.  
She's the perfect role model for other young Vida. She's  
my beloved sister, and I would gladly die to keep her  
safe from harm. My death would've never been a big  
impact on the Vida. It wouldn't even be a big impact on  
you, but Adianna you and everyone else would miss the  
most. I would hate to live because she saved me, and so,  
I'd give up my weapons all over again. Not so much for  
your happiness, but because she is precious to me. The  
vampires I befriended were not threatening. They didn't  
even know what I was until I told them. They wanted to  
be my friends, and when I pushed them away they held  
on closer. It made me so happy, to feel needed, to feel  
like they cared, to feel the compassion they gave me,  
even after I pushed them away. I knew how it would  
end, but I dragged it out too long. I got emotionally  
attached. Even now, when I've distanced myself from  
them, I miss them. I miss their company. I miss not  
being judged. The poetry and invitation you found was  
from Nikolas. I had no intention of meeting him, not  
after the last incident. But with you fixing to disown me,  
I was torn between going and staying. I decided... I'd  
rather die trying to kill Nikolas again, than have that  
hopeless feeling forever. I don't know if I'll come back.  
I don't know if you'll find this if I don't come back. I don't  
even know if you'll read this if you find it. Chances are  
you probably won't read it. You'll just toss it in the nearest  
fire to erase the last words of the biggest disappointment  
you've ever trained, but at least I tried to tell you. Even  
though I doubt you will ever understand me or my actions.  
Goodbye, Mother.**

**Sarah**

I stared at the sadly unfamiliar writing. My own daughter would rather die than be powerless near me. She thought I didn't care about anything but her disappointments, and that she meant little to me at all. The aching that was griping my heart was new to me, but I knew what it was---regret. Did Adianna feel the same as Sarah had? Did she think she was only able-bodied fighter to me? I cared for both of my daughters, that's why I was so tough on them. That's why I wouldn't overlook Sarah's emotions, why I was going to take her power away. Adianna could handle herself almost as well as I could. I feared for Sarah's continued existence anytime she went hunting. Now, it was too late to ever correct Sarah. There was nothing I could do to show her I had loved her. Was it too late with Adianna, too?

The world before me blurred, and the warm moisture of tears ran down my cheeks and dropped onto the notebook paper, smearing the pink lines that signaled the margin. Ihe wiped the tears from the paper and my eyes and folded the letter and placed it in the envelope and into my pocket. Straightening my posture, I reached for the doorknob.

_A Vida never loses control... but I guess a Vida could give a little love to her only remaining daughter._


End file.
